TL;DR
You’re already changing - but maybe not in ways that are helpful
Change one thing at a time
Choose changes you’re 100% sure you can succeed at
Embrace a growth mindset (reverting back is normal)
Shoot for good enough (it doesn’t have to be perfect)
So You Want to Change?
I’ve got some exciting news for you: you’re already changing.
Even if you do absolutely nothing to shift your behavior or your life choices right now, you’re changing.
Your body, mind, and self will adapt to the most consistent things you give them.
If you eat foods that don’t agree with you, sleep very little, doom scroll on your phone, and drink nothing but energy drinks your body and mind continue to change - they integrate and adapt those inputs.
That isn’t meant to shame or blame you into changing.
It’s just how people and bodies work.
The good news: people are meant to keep changing AND you can direct that change.
Behavior Change Basics
Fortunately, there’s research on what actually works when changing your habits. Positive change follows a few simple rules:
Start with an area of your life that you know you can change 100%
Pick ONE thing to work on - a single habit or skill
Shoot for consistency with a growth mindset
Make a plan (that includes how to get back on the wagon)
Shoot for good enough (not perfect)
Let’s break each of these down.
Start with what you know you can change:
When you’re first starting out you want to build some wins, troubleshoot, and figure out the nuts & bolts of lasting change. Too often we start fad diets and hardcore fitness routines, all the while dreaming of when the “challenge” is over.
There’s nothing wrong with challenging yourself ~ but if you’re trying to build lasting wellness you want to pay attention to what sustainable changes you can make.
Instead of over-doing it or trying to be “perfect”, pick changes you can integrate.
Pick ONE thing to work on:
Think about New Years Resolutions - the list of things people tell themselves they’ll magically change at midnight. We keep it up for a day or two and then… give in.
Research is remarkably clear that the more things we try to change at once the less successful we are long term.
When we focus on a single thing to change we are far more successful.
Shoot for consistency with a growth mindset:
Growth mindset is all about how you approach challenges and setbacks. Those with a growth mindset believe that our success is dictated by effort and learning, instead of talents we’re born with (the belief of those with a fixed mindset). Instead of struggling and calling it off, growth mindset people look for the iterative feedback that lends towards success.
The goal of your wellness journey is not perfect change. You wont magically transform into someone else and “reinvent yourself”. You will stumble - but looking for ways to improve consistency will lend itself towards growth.
Make a Plan:
Whatever you’re going to start with, have a plan. It’s not uncommon to jump in without an informed game plan or informing our close community. If you want to up your success factor you might want to give a little extra grey matter to the situation.
A few suggestions, regardless of what you’re planning to change:
Step 1 should probably be gathering information
Step 2 should probably be getting resources (things you need to buy or shift in your life. Helpful friends or support groups, etc.)
Step 3 should probably be planning your first week of change and communicating it to close people it will effect (your spouse, kids, roommates, etc)
From there you can build you the steps to making change.
Good Enough is Good Enough:
In his book The Paradox of Choice, Dr Barry Schwartz shares his research on how perfectionism makes us unhappy. Those who always try to get the best of everything and do the best at everything never feel satisfaction or the positive emotional payoff of their efforts. Instead, they’re constantly striving for more, more, more.
I see this in behavior change regularly.
Clients and students who tell themselves they need the “perfect” workout, nutrition, sleep ritual, etc. In reality, they just need something good enough to move them down the path towards a positive future.
Instead of finding “perfect”, what’s going to be a good enough change for right now?