I felt it last week. The shift in the air. The tone change on my social media feeds coinciding with Mariah Carey on the local radio station.
The holidays are here - and with them the plethora of “Tips and Tricks” content. The listicles and carousels. The fliers and newsletters. The “3 quick tips”.
The kickoff officially came for me when one of my mentoring clients send me a flier in advance of our check-in call. She was fuming! Another fitness professional was handing out a list of holiday tips including gems like:
Wear tight outfits to parties so you'll control your eating
Schedule your post holiday cleanse (which uses her MLM supplements, of course)
Having an accountability partner for your diet increases success by 85%
(no source cited)
Naturally, there were 5 tips that tied into her supplement reselling business.
Tis the season! For Tips on how you too can engage with dysfunctional eating and exercising that make you feel guilty, mess with your energy, and don't even work.
What are we to do!?
This post is part of a series to support meaningful wellness in the holiday season. The More|Better substack is a weekly dose of fitness, wellness, and wellbeing content here to help you make sense of wellness nonsense, written by personal trainer, wellness coach, and positive psychology practitioner Darlene Marshall.
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What gives!?
Let’s get something straight: I am a firm believer that the majority of health, fitness, and wellness professionals are well intentioned in their work. They believe they are helping people live happier, healthier lives. Unfortunately, many are misinformed about how adults make sustainable, positive change AND what works long term.
The result: Well intentioned but toxic “advice” about how to handle our bodied during what’s supposed to be a festive and fun time of year. That might include some old classics like: “earning” calories through workouts, strategies to restrict eating, offhanded comments from family & friends.
You can’t “earn” or “burn” calories… want to dive into why?
The three places I expect you’ll encounter these unhelpful holiday delights:
Traditional media & social media influencers
Family & friends
Yourself
Dealing With Unhelpful Holiday Wellness Nonsense
How we deal with the holiday health nonsense depends on it’s origins and nature.
Media & Influencers
The nice thing about this: you can turn it off!
Shut off the TV, turn off your phone, or temporarily mute the content creator whom you otherwise love but is still spewing this stuff. It’s okay to just take a break from socials or YouTube or whatever else is shoving toxic “tips” into your brain space.
Family & Friends
Reminder: they’re likely well intentioned.
When your mom or auntie or friend from work makes unhelpful comments they’re not making them because they hate you. (If they are, red light!) They think the way they do because of the media, content, and their own social environment they’re consuming.
It’s likely they’re either commenting about themselves or they’re making unhelpful comments about you:
Comments about Themselves
First, recognize it’s not your job to change their minds or reprogram their thinking. Respond with something positive and reinforcing like “I think you look great and as long as you’re happy with your self and body that’s what matters to me”
Comments about You
It can be really difficult to remember in the moment when someone says something snarky, uncomfortable, or downright activating. But try to remember they’re well intentioned! If you can ground in that thought, your response will be more measured and regulated, limiting damage to the relationship. If they're commenting about you there's nothing wrong with saying "I love my body and I'm going to enjoy this season. Pass me another egg nog!"
You Digging In On You
So much of our internal monologue is programmed by our environment, so it’s natural to tell yourself things you’ve been hearing all your life. Thing like:
“I really shouldn’t have another”
“Those are bad calories. I can’t have that.”
“I’m going to have to work extra hard tomorrow to burn this off”
(You might be asking yourself why this is problematic - it’s because metabolism doesn’t work that way)
Final Thoughts
The holidays can be really difficult for lots of people and for lots of different reasons. Add to that: boundaries are hard and boundaries conversations are even harder!
Over the next few weeks we’ll be exploring what meaningful holiday health and wellness tips actually look like; but it start with your own boundaries, values, and self-worth.
You matter more than beating yourself up over another bite of cake or a second helping of stuffing.
Questions?
Questions about your own holiday health struggles?
Wondering why some of the things I’ve listed are problematic?
Confused about making this all work in your own life?
Leave your questions in the comments! I’ll be answering them throughout the holiday season.
Need support making sense of your own wellness? I’m available for long term coaching and consultations are always free.
Here’s the link to my calendar so you can book a call.