Restarting After a Setback
It can happen for lots of reasons.
You went on vacation.
You got sick.
A busy period at work.
Supporting family through a difficult time.
Whatever the cause, it’s very easy to tell yourself you’ve failed when you have an unexpected break from chasing your goals. Whether we’re talking about fitness, wellness, and self-care, or bigger dreams like school, career advancement, or chasing your purpose. Restarting after an unintended break can feel like a big setback; but there are lessons to be learned and wisdom to be gleaned that supports you towards your aspirational self.
Process the Break
There’s probably two kinds of break from your efforts: the fun kind (like vacations or big life milestones) and the not-so-fun (like illness, injury, or burnout).
For difficult situations make the time to process through journaling, confiding in a friend, or maybe even therapy. It’s not uncommon for me to work with clients who want to get right back on the ole bandwagon, but don’t recognize that the challenges or overwhelm they were feeling are still affecting them. Giving yourself time to process can be the difference between struggling with stops and starts and knowing that you’re 100% ready to get back to business.
For fun stuff I also encounter people who think processing is only for negative events! Processing the good stuff is often about intentional meaning-making. Taking a look at how your priorities, motivations, and even values have changed. I think of my time studying yoga in Thailand and all the things I learned that changed how I went about my day. Or after I got married and my priorities shifted with the new commitment we’d made. Which is all to say: processing isn’t only for the hard stuff.
One purpose of processing in this way can be looking at why the break happened in the first place.
Was it intentional time away? Or unintentional?
Do you want to go back to what you were doing? Or is there something more aligned?
Do you need guidance, support, or accountability going forward?
Get Ready to Get Back
Breaks from our fitness and wellness habits can be useful in some ways.
If the goal of meaningful wellness is to build sustainable lifestyle habits that support flourishing, those habits may need to evolve as you grow and change. Even when working with a coach, the goal is to eventually be autonomous with your practices and integrate what’s best for you into a life that works for you.
But
Stuff happens.
People have lives.
Sometimes things come up and we can’t perfectly do everything we want to do.
When you’re ready to move forward, but not 100% sure you’ll success, here’s a series of coaching questions that can be helpful:
Why did you start doing the original practice? What was your initial motivation, influence, or goal? What made you think it was a good idea or sparked your curiosity?
Do you still care about that thing?
If no, give yourself permission to just let it go. There are a million ways to make progress on your wellbeing, and if your old practice is no longer serving you it’s okay to just let it go.
If yes, find a way to connect to that initial motivation. Writing, talking with a friend, or working with your coach can build commitment.Deal with any ambivalence - You’re likely getting something out of your avoidance. If you can identify what that is, you can take other proactive steps to meet those needs and free yourself to move forward.
Make a (very specific) game plan - Often we approach our lapsed habits thinking they’ll fall back into place just like they were before. In reality, something changed or we wouldn’t have the break in the first place. Make a specific game plan and then…
Actually follow the plan! (if you don’t, that’s a sign you’re missing something. Backtrack and repeat.)
Remember our good friend the Growth Mindset!
What are your tips for getting back to it after a break?
Leave them in the comments.