The Point of Your Wellness Work
Advice if your self care feels stupid right now.
Depending on your political persuasions and personal circumstances you might be going through it right now. On top of it being Feb, brutally cold, and the news filled with uncertainty - but hey, at least you (probably) don’t live in the Upstate NY town that got 100” of snow since last Monday!
When things feel gross and overwhelming it’s easy to feel like all this “wellness stuff” loses its meaning. At least that’s what I’ve been hearing from some clients, friends, and fans these last few weeks. If you’re like them, or you're supporting people with similar struggles, this week’s post is for you.
Wellness and Wellbeing
Let’s kickoff by clarifying terms. “Wellness” has come to mean just about anything over the last 6 years, much to my chagrin. I’m one of those annoying people who insist that words have meaning, so here we go:
Wellness is a process. Wellbeing is a state.
Wellness is the tools and journey one takes to learn to build wellbeing.
Wellbeing is the state in which a persons needs are met such that they can thrive.
When thriving a person is far more effective at just about everything.
Wellness isn’t abstract. It’s not vague or woowoo or full of nonsense. It’s the tools and skills we learn and the processes used to find states of wellbeing. When we are well we’re more effective at managing stress, dealing with challenges, solving problems, bonding, and helping one another.
Thriving as Essential Work
In April of 2020, drudging through lockdown with no end in sight, I remember the parade of social media posts about how hard things were. It seemed the trauma dump was endless and there was social capital in talking about how difficult it all was.
It was difficult. But that wasn’t the only story.
There were also people doing well in the quiet and simplicity of being home with their families. People learning to make things with their hands, caring for their bodies, or tapping into previously unknown creativity. Here’s an uncomfortable truth:
The people that were doing well were more effective at helping those around them.
When we’re exhausted, dysregulated, hungry, weak, tired, and overwhelmed it’s more difficult to make good decisions, have hard conversations, and execute complex tasks. Regardless of your beliefs, we all can see that there’s a lot of work to be done if we’re ever going to find our way back to a stable, flourishing society. That work cannot happen overnight and we’ll need clearheaded people if we’re going to see it through.
Even if you don’t want to save the world. Even if you just want to protect your world, being well enough to weather the storm becomes essential learning.
What do we do?
I find comfort when I look back through the long tails of human history knowing there have been times of great flourishing and those of suffering. Some of the most lasting embodied and esoteric traditions have been born through times of turmoil. Struggle often begets insight.
One clear example to me are the tandem systems of ayurveda and yoga, which give a clear instruction on how to manage yourself when things are in flux:
Prioritize sleep. Move your body. Eat well. Do good for others.
Remarkably simple.
Perhaps it feels too simplistic for you. If that’s the case, consider that most of what you’ve been taught about wellness in the last decade has been through marketing trying to sell you the latest supplements, workouts, skin creams, and diets.
Is there more than can be done in your self care? Absolutely. But if these foundations aren’t set those other things will yield diminishing returns.
Life Come for Us All
It’s a fact of being human that we will inevitably suffer. We will struggle, have set backs, be overwhelmed by loss and grief, and have to make difficult decisions we’d rather not have encountered. Yes, there are some challenges that maybe aren’t as inevitable as others; but regardless of who and where you are, if you live long enough time will come for you as it will for me.
We get a say on how we greet that fact.
I’d rather greet the struggle of life’s storms in a solid boat surrounded by capable people I know, love, and trust than to be in a leaky dingy clinging to sanity.
A generational hurricane is coming. Tend to your boats well.
Need some help tending your boat? I host a free online community focused on wellbeing called The Wellbeing Revolution and we’d love to have you: