What's a Wellbeing Lifestyle?
(Hint: it's not toxic positivity)
When I take on a new client the first challenge is always figuring out what we’re really working on. Sure, they tell me they want to lose weight, or eat healthy, or for me to “make” them exercise. But that’s not really what we’re working on.
In this age of connectivity and AI, if all they needed was technical information or an accountability partner, they’d have it already.
What we’re really working on is their beliefs.
Underneath all we do is a schema of beliefs about ourselves, the world, and our place in it. Sure, over time many of our actions become automatic & habitual. But to change our behavior in transformative and sustainable ways takes shifting belief, maybe even identity, and living those beliefs differently into our lives.
In an intentioned life, our actions and choices become a reflection of belief.
The Wellbeing Lifestyle
A wellbeing lifestyle is when:
you embrace the evidence that people with greater wellbeing are more effective at whatever mission or purpose they dedicate their gifts to AND
they choose to build a lifestyle that supports their wellbeing SO
they can show all the way up for what matters most to them (whatever that is).
Sounds simple enough.
But to live it into our lives can be complicated.
There’s death, taxes, social unrest, trauma, cultures & family of origin, and a bazillion other things that feel like they get in the way. If you’re someone struggling with those obstacles and a happiness expert comes along it can seem like we’re telling you to ignore your very real problems and “don’t worry be happy”.
To be clear: that’s not at all what I’m saying.
A wellbeing lifestyle isn’t a guarantee of “happiness”.
(That would be toxic positivity.)
Think of it more like a practice. Like how meditation doesn’t guarantee you enlightenment, prayer doesn’t guarantee your god will answer, and stretching doesn’t guarantee you won’t pull a muscle.
You do any practice with the intention of moving in a given direction without the guarantee of success.
A wellbeing lifestyle isn’t the dissociated promise that you’ll never be sad again.
It’s the down-payment that you’ll be more resilient when the challenges come.
Building a Wellbeing Lifestyle…
Takes time and a willingness to change.
But it takes something else from the start: a shift in beliefs.
First, the belief that wellbeing is a priority. That it matters to you because it makes you better at showing up for the things you care about in your life. You also have to believe that it is possible for you to get there - and, tbh, for some people that is the hardest part.
Then, it’s prioritizing your foundational needs - sleep, nutrition, movement.
Taking self care seriously as a practice.
By the statistics, that’s already a challenge for the majority of the US, where about 5% of Americans get enough sleep, eat enough vegetables, don’t abuse drugs and alcohol, and meet the minimums for movement.
Somewhere along the lines you might need the skills to examine those beliefs & effectively change them - along with the technical information on how and the social and emotional support to live them into your life. (No wonder people struggle!)
There’s a lot more to is, but this is where it starts.
Building Wellbeing in 2025:
If building a Wellbeing Lifestyle is one of your priorities for 2025, lean in!
On January 3rd I’m launching a new online community called The Wellbeing Revolution. It’s aimed at those of us who embrace the wellbeing lifestyle as paramount to showing up in resilience for whatever challenges are ahead.
This is the anti-toxic positivity hub.
A space for connection, meaningful practice, and growth.
The community is free. After launch in January we’ll have weekly practices, challenges, and mini-courses. Down the line there will be workshops, courses, and IRL gatherings.
All aimed at helping you build your own wellbeing lifestyle so you can show up for what matters most to you.
Hope to see you there!