TL;DR
Motivation isn’t as simple as “deciding”. That’s a myth.
According to Self Determination Theory there’s a spectrum of motivation
There are tricks to sliding yourself along the spectrum; but if they don’t work it’s because there’s something else to learn about yourself, what you’re trying to achieve, or your situation
It’s a frustrating statistic to read that nearly two-thirds of people give up on their New Years goals and resolutions within the first month1, while at the same time every polarity coach and fitness guru spends January suddenly claiming to be a motivation expert.
Their typical advice: just do it.
The weakness in that guidance is evident in it’s utterance. Anyone who’s ever struggled to change a habit, been too depressed to start, or had life circumstances that prevented what they wanted knows the true, deep, very real frustration of lacking motivation. “Just decide” is weak sauce in that moment.
So what does work?
On the day you just can’t get the motivation muscles going, how do you shift gears?
Welcome, friends. Let’s get to it.
Motivation (like so many things) is a spectrum
According to Self Determination Theory2, one of the most well-validated theories on human motivation, human behavior happens on a spectrum:
On one end is amotivation: “I don’t do it”
On the other end is intrinsic motivation: “I do it because I enjoy it”
Everything in the middle is lumped into extrinsic motivation: “I do it, but for some reason other than enjoyment”
So when we “don’t feel motivated” we’re in amotivation.
When you’d do something because you get a positive feeling, it’s fun, brings you joy or pleasure that’s intrinsic.
The spectrum in the middle is where we’ll play for the most part. Because you can’t magically make yourself love something you don’t enjoy and we’re trying to move you along the line so you’re more likely to do it.
This is really important: Keep in mind as you move through this that you can have multiple motivations!
Extrinsic Motivation
Most fitpros and coaches I know don’t fully understand extrinsic motivation. They hear “ex” and they immediately think “external” and talk about it like intrinsic is the only good option. That couldn’t be farther from the truth!
So the goal is to move you along the line until you’re motivated enough to do the things you know you want for yourself. All the way over next to No Motivation we have External Regulation. This is external systems of reward and punishment:
Getting paid to do something or otherwise rewarded. Could also be forms of positive attention like praise or complements.
Getting punished. This could be having a privilege taken away or forms of social punishment like shaming or uncomfortable situations.
We typically do these things because we feel like we “have to” in order to gain something positive or avoid something negative.
When we do things for external punishment or praise we stop doing them as soon as the reward evaporates.
(How’s effective does that work fitness challenge sound now?)
Introjected Regulation
(Hey, I didn’t name these things… world famous scientists did.)
Introject means to unconsciously take in the attitudes and ideas of others. So when it comes to motivation introjected regulation is the fancy term for “internalizing”. For example, I grew up in a household where the women were dieting most of the time so I internalized many diet culture beliefs about food.
Internalized rules and beliefs about our behavior. Can be family, friend group, or cultural influence.
Doing things out of shame, blame, or guilt
Doing things that we “should” out of negative consequences, but no one is directly saying something to you right now because you’re doing it to yourself
Identified Regulation
This is the motivational tipping point. This is the threshold where what we want and what we do begin to align:
Actions are driven by purpose, meaning, and/or values
We do it because we think “this is the right thing to do” with out the shame, blame, and guilt tied to it.
Integrated Regulation
This is another sweet spot. This is the point where you “why” becomes positively internalized and you weave together the things you’re doing, your values and meaning into a positive sense of identity:
Behavior aligns with my identity and sense of self
Any goals set are authentic and self-aligned
“I’m doing this because it’s part of who I am”
The above might seem like a lot to take in if we’re just talking about getting motivated; but when you understand what’s going on under the hood you can be more effective in your problem solving.
What do we do about it?
There’s a few ways this can be useful to help you get motivated.
First, you can start to recognize when you’re doing things for external punishment and reward. Remember, we can have multiple motivations. So when you catch yourself “doing it for the money” (or to please someone else) you can start looking for other reasons that are more self-aligned or represent your values.
Next, start listening to how you talk to yourself when you’re struggling for motivation. “Should”, “need to”, and “have to” are the worst for motivation. Unfortunately they’re baked into our culture and language. We all do it, but if you can start to catch it you can start to change it.
While not final by any means, you’ll want to get to know yourself and what you actually need and want. The more in tune you are to your authentic self, your aligned goals, your emotional feedback, and what works for you the more you’ll understand what’s going on when resistance comes up.
Next week’s paid bonus will be a deeper dive into practices to shift motivation and a companion workbook. Join with a paid subscription for access.
Dickson, J. M., Moberly, N. J., Preece, D., Dodd, A., & Huntley, C. D. (2021). Self-regulatory goal motivational processes in sustained new year resolution pursuit and mental wellbeing. International journal of environmental research and public health, 18(6), 3084. Chicago https://www.mdpi.com/1660-4601/18/6/3084
Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2008). Self-determination theory: A macrotheory of human motivation, development, and health. Canadian psychology/Psychologie canadienne, 49(3), 182. https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fa0012801