Systems Change over Habit Change
Working on your habits is so 2009
Early in my personal training career I became obsessed with Charles Duhigg’s NY Times Bestseller The Power of Habit. In it he describes how our behavior lives in loops - once a loop is triggered we’ll run that pattern like a computer program. A cue prompts the loop, you trigger the routine, and you get a reward. Sounds simple enough. In Duhigg’s book, the only trick to better habits is replacing an unhelpful routine with a better habit in the loop.
Sounds good, in theory.
I was all about it with my clients.
Except… it didn’t work for a lot of people.
Why!?
We’d talk about habits and loops and subbing the routine.
We’d mentally rehearse, just like the sports psychologists said.
But then the moment would come to actually change and they just… wouldn’t.
What’s worse - they’d come in dejected. Defeated. Feeling like utter failures for having not done the thing we’d so carefully planned. (Or, even better - they’d come in guns-a-blazing and defensive about it, all to cover shame and disappointment).
What gives!? Every Jack & Jill knows that it takes 21 days to make a new habit. Right? Why can’t they!?
Why Systems Over Habits
First things first, it does not take 7 days or 14 days or 21 days or any set number of days to make a new habit. It doesn’t work that way. Behavior is complex because people are weird and complicated. Let’s start with a clarity of terms:
A habit is an automatic behavior. Something you do without thinking. Chewing your nails or picking your nose when you thought no one was watching. The way you get into the car and put your seatbelt on.
My problem with habits: For some people eating vegetables and exercising every morning will never be automatic. They will always be a choice.
Even worse: in a world designed to steal your attention, habits easily fail. Your phone is customized to steal your dopamine, your food to maximize craveability and minimize satiety - dating apps to keep you from a perfect match without a subscription and television to keep you binging. Under those circumstances, our best intentions for healthy habits can be left wanting.
So what do you do?
You don’t leave it up to chance or habit. I don’t want to same part of my brain that subconsciously fidgets with the hair-tie on my wrist to decide whether or not I get my steps in. Instead, I’m going to intentionally design my lifestyle and evolve a set of principles. A system.
Systems are great. They’re flexible, impersonal, and you can compartmentalize aspects of them to tinker with and refine your results (interestingly similar to the the components of optimism).
But how?
I’m going to assume if you’ve read this far you want to create positive change in your life. You want to be happier, healthier, more productive, fitter, &/or generally improve.
If there’s a change you want to make, take a moment to ask yourself what you want to get out of it and why. You want to eat healthier so you can bring down your blood pressure and live longer. You want to get to sleep better because it’s a stressful time at work and it’s your calling.
(One of mine: I want to exercise consistently to stay strong & flexible because I want to be 103 and still dancing at weddings.)
With that direction in mind, consider refining your systems to keep you on track:
1. Recognize the system you’re already in
Intentional systems have been designed to produce a specific outcome. Unintentional systems are the ones you accidentally find yourself in. Your gut microbiome is a system for digestion - if you eat prebiotic and fermented foods, you get a positive outcome. Eat junk long enough … a less pleasing outcome.
Your choices have created the systems of your life. So have the choices of the people you spend time with, your employer, and society at large. Some of those choices you have influence on. Some you don’t. (Pro tip: you’ll want to keep the focus of change with what you have influence over.)
Start with getting real with yourself about the patterns you’re already in.
Want better sleep? Staying up until 2a playing video games probably isn’t going to help. Eating better? Maybe there’s a better choice than take out every night.
2. Shift the System Gradually
Don’t change everything all at once. Rapid change is less stable and you learn a lot less about yourself, the system, and the potential pitfalls (and how to navigate them) when you artificially create a complex system that you force on yourself.
Instead, shift things gradually. Optimally, one behavior or skillset at a time.
Let’s go with sleep again. Everyone knows by this point that light stimulation close to bed shreds sleep quality, which is why video games might not be a great late night activity. Maybe your first shift is to read a book after dinner instead of turning on the TV and save your gaming for the weekend.
Pick one thing, shift it. Let yourself adjust. Then do it again. And again. And again.
3. Gauge progress
When I do a consult (or a Wellness Roadmap session) I write in my notes:
Why are we here?
How can we measure it?
How do we know when we’re successful?
These 3 questions keep me focused on my job, despite my large scope of practice. Regardless of what we’re working towards we need a way to qualify, even subjectively, if we’re successful.
So will you. Ask yourself those 3 and set a regular interval for reassessment.
4. Iteratively Improve
Because you’re making doable tweaks things are going to change. As your circumstances shift your desires, motivations, hopes, and dreams may change too. Good! That means you’re growing.
But that might also move the marker for what you get out of your systems. In that case rinse, repeat, and redesign.
That’s perfectly normal as you grow more fully into yourself.
Looking for more on your journey from survive to thrive?
There are a few ways I can help you keep it movin’:
90 Minute Wellness Roadmap (currently on sale) - Struggling or stuck? Spend 90 minutes with expert eyes looking at your own efforts to grow fitness, wellness, and wellbeing.
Free Ultra-processed Food Guide - Struggling to eat better, but also know that diets don’t work for you? Want to be healthy, but know that diet culture is big ole lie? Want someone to teach you about what food is actually bad for health? Download this freebie anytime.
Better Than Fine podcast - if you appreciate this substack you should check out the Better Than Fine podcast - we livestream new episodes every Wednes