Resilience is a Practice
It's intentional, proactive, the result of a wellbeing lifestyle... and something we'll need this week.
“Resilience” isn’t a 4-letter word…
Just before the pandemic one of my beloved clients told me she hates the word “resilience”. She said that as she went through her divorce, many years prior, and would tell her friends how worried she was about her kids the well-intentioned people around her would respond “don’t worry. Kids are resilient.” And she hated it.
It made her hate the word “resilient”.
Last week I saw a Thread that read “if kids are so resilient why are there so many adults in therapy”.
What hit me: people don’t understand the nature of resilience. That’s hurting us.
It’s not your fault.
The last few years lots of people have puked the word “resilience” into content who have no real understanding of it. They think resilience is just in the nature of some people. It’s confused with John Wayne-esque toughness, maverick culture, and a vague notion that, like Maybelline, some people are born with it.
This could not be farther from the truth.
I’ve written about resilience and it’s subcomponents a lot this year in an attempt to equip you with the tools you’ll need if things get weird.
Today I’d like to offer you one more piece of that evolving puzzle:
Resilience as a Practice
There are a few definitions of the word “practice”:
I take away from them that a practice is:
Intentional - something we do, requiring direct action
Proactive - towards that intention and built into systems
Iterative - things we practice evolve over time
When we apply this to resilience and we think of the week ahead, we can make proactive, intentioned, iterative choices about how we want to show up - regardless of what’s coming down the pipe.
Why this post? Why now?
(didn’t I just email you yesterday?!)
Many of you have reached out over the past weeks and confided to me your anxiety, fear, and even dread. To meet whatever happens next we'll need resilience - and the high performers (yes, you!) will engage intentionally with what keeps our resilience up.
Resilience is the ability to keep showing up for what we care about, even when it’s hard. Even when it’s messed up. But here’s the thing (pulled from the 4th of July post):
When you love something you don’t bail when it’s a mess.
You double down. You help clean it up.
You do everything in your power to make it better.
That’s how love works.
Something almost every American can agree on right now: things aren’t going well. Solutions won’t be swift or easy. Regardless of what happens next, we’ll all benefit from the fortitude to get through it.
You can decide that it’s time to build your resilience. Then, dial in some systems that will help you show up equipped tomorrow for whatever is next in your life.
What I'm doing this week:
🏃♀️➡️ Time scheduled daily for movement
🧘♀️ Morning rituals of transcendence to feel grounded and connected
🚫 No alcohol or THC - they both mess with neurochemistry and possibly mental health
🫂 Time with those that love me and feel safe to charge my emotional batteries
😴 Early screen off and bed times
This is not to say I'm totally unplugged. I'm just being very intentional about what information I engage with and when.
Why?
Because I need to be resilient for myself, my mission, and the people that rely on me.
My guess is so do you.
Which begs the question…
What systems do you have in place to keep your resilience high this week?
Looking for more on your journey from survive to thrive?
There are a few ways I can help you keep it movin’:
90 Minute Wellness Roadmap (currently on sale) - Struggling or stuck? Spend 90 minutes with expert eyes looking at your own efforts to grow fitness, wellness, and wellbeing.
Free Ultra-processed Food Guide - Struggling to eat better, but also know that diets don’t work for you? Want to be healthy, but know that diet culture is big ole lie? Want someone to teach you about what food is actually bad for health? Download this freebie anytime.
Better Than Fine podcast - if you appreciate this substack you should check out the Better Than Fine podcast - we livestream new episodes every Wednesday on the NASM YouTube channel